We’ll look after you and your child
Coming to see us may be one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do.
We understand this, because we are funeral directors. We care about you and your child: we’ll look after you.
We’ll help you to celebrate your child’s life, and remember and share how special they were.
A life well remembered lives on
Your love for your child will last forever and the funeral you create for them is an important way for you to remember, share and celebrate, even as you say goodbye.
We’ll work with you, your family and friends, to make your child’s funeral a special day that you will always remember. It’s important that you do what feels right to you, and we’ll support and encourage you to take all the time you need.
Every child’s funeral is unique
As every child and every family is different, so there is no right or wrong way to hold a child’s funeral. Some families prefer to mark their child’s passing privately, others like to bring together everyone who knew their child.
Some families are comforted by their traditions and religious beliefs, others create their own ceremony to reflect their family’s way of life.
A child’s funeral may be quiet and reflective, or full of music and laughter, or it may combine silent contemplation and joyous celebration in one ceremony. What’s important is that the funeral you plan for your child feels right to you.
We’ll help you create a funeral that reflects your child’s life and your family: we’ll ask you to tell us about your child, and we’ll listen.
We’ll ask about your lives together. We’ll share our experience, and together we’ll plan a funeral that remembers your child in the way that you would like.
That’s what matters.
Creating your own ceremony
If you would like to create your own ceremony, here are some ideas that have helped other families.
- Choose your child’s favourite music
- Read poems, stories and prayers
- Take photos or make a video of the funeral
- Invite mourners to come up to the coffin to say goodbye
- Create your own online memorial
- Show a video or photos of special times you spent together
- Speak yourself, or ask someone to read something you’ve written about your child
- Ask family or friends to speak about your child
- Place objects that were special to your child around the coffin
- Ask mourners to dress in your child’s favourite colour
- Release balloons or doves at the end of the service
- Or you can do something quite different, that perfectly reflects your child’s life and helps you to remember them
Involving family and friends
Your child may have had brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, all of whom may want to play a part in remembering them at their funeral.
We can help you find the best way to involve them. You may simply invite them to join you, or you may ask them to play an active part in the ceremony: they may sing, or dance, read their favourite poem, or tell everyone why your child was special to them. You may ask them to help you by calling people to tell them about the funeral, greeting people as they arrive on the day, arranging caterers, or looking after elderly relatives or small children.
Parents often worry about how brothers and sisters will cope with a funeral, and of course it will be difficult for them. In our experience, however, children find it easier to grieve and to understand that their brother or sister has died if they are included in the funeral, and if people talk openly to them about what has happened.
Your child’s brother or sister may want to speak at their funeral, or perhaps they would like to write something and ask someone else to read it. They may like to place something important to them or their sibling in the coffin – perhaps a letter, or a small toy.
You don’t need to hurry when planning the funeral. We’d like you to take as much time as you need, and to feel free to change your mind at any time.
How we help you
As your funeral director, we will take care of your child until the funeral and we welcome you to visit at any time.
We will guide you through the process of planning your child’s funeral, sharing our knowledge and experience, but always listening to your preferences.
We will make the arrangements for your child’s funeral, from ensuring that all the documentation is completed, to co-ordinating and booking every element of the service.
On the day itself we will be with you to make sure that everything runs smoothly and according to your plans.
We do not charge for our standard services when arranging a funeral for a child under the age of 16.
If you choose additional services, we will explain how much they cost before including them in your arrangements.
We will pass on to you the professional fees charged by others, such as officiants, doctors, the crematorium or cemetery.
The services we offer
We provide our standard services free for the funeral of a child under the age of 16.
Every funeral we arrange receives our full attention and commitment and, whether simple or elaborate, it will be of the highest standard.
Our professional services:
Our trained staff will help you plan the funeral service, and will make all the arrangements, unless you would like to make some yourself.
We will deal with all the people involved – including doctors, officiants, and the crematorium or cemetery. We will make sure that documents are correctly completed, and co-ordinate and confirm the arrangements.
We will advise you on registering the death. We will receive and care for floral tributes and receive and list charitable donations. You may talk to us at any time, and may visit our chapel of rest or visiting room. Our funeral director will attend the funeral service.
Care of your child:
Our trained staff will bring your child into our care from a local address, hospital or hospice, in a discreet vehicle with all the necessary equipment, at any time of the day or night. We will care for your child and prepare them for the funeral, including dressing them in their own clothes. Our professional staff may carry out embalming to preserve your child’s dignity before the funeral. Our staff will support you if you wish to spend time with your child in quiet reflection at our chapel of rest.
Ceremonial vehicle and staff:
We will supply a modern motor hearse or other suitable funeral vehicle to carry your child to the funeral service. Our staff will be in attendance to support you.
Coffin or casket:
We provide a simple white casket or coffin.
You may choose to add further services or elements to your child’s funeral. These might include:
- A coffin from our wider range
- A horse-drawn hearse
- Floral tributes
- Other specialist vehicles
- Dove release
- An order of service or other stationery
We’re here to help
Our funeral directors are here to help you, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
If you’re unsure about what to do next, pick up the phone to your local funeral director and we’ll be there for you with our years of experience and understanding.
You can find your local funeral director by ringing 0800 258 5903